Breaking Social Norms
I wasn't comfortable about doing this particular project, so I chose to challenge myself and test my own boundaries regarding social norms.
Regarding gender and identity for social norms in public I chose looking after children which is done a majority of the time in my circles by women. Normally, public opinion seems to be that women usually tend to look after children whether it is at home or even outside in public eyes among the masses. So to break this social norm, I took care of children for some friends for a day.
Rather than just stay home and watch the children, I took them to the mall and several places throughout Amarillo to get reactions from the public. Initially, it wasn’t my choice to look after children, nor did I really want to take the children into public places. However, I do not know what it actually felt to be looking after children while people look at you. I always had an idea or could guess what women typically felt like but actually receiving first-hand experience taking care of children is completely different. As we walked around the mall, I couldn’t help but feel somewhat uncomfortable as eyes looked my direction. The feeling of judgment because I was a guy looking after children on my own without a woman was unnerving. Particularly one group of ladies noticed I was looking after children on my own. I took notice of them looking but acted as though I did not notice. After about 45 minutes of being with the children at the mall, I felt uncomfortable so I took the children to get lunch.
Once we left the mall to go to lunch, I felt a sense of relief being out of the public’s eye and in my vehicle for those brief minutes as I drove to our next destination. Upon arrival I could tell my heart beat was increasing as I drove into the parking lot and walked into the restaurant. Furthermore, when the waitress took us to our seat, I felt more anxiety as I felt eyes looking at us as though there was something wrong with me for looking after children. I couldn’t help but feel sympathy for women who have to go through that feeling of being an annoyance to the public because the children are loud or if they are with a baby. In that moment, I felt ashamed for being judgmental myself towards women who go into public with children and have the entire public eye almost look down upon them.
It’s an experience I have never felt before because I have never looked after children by myself. Usually if I am with children, I have a friend with me or a family member help me. Breaking this social norm for me both made me feel very uncomfortable and eye opening.
Afterwards, I worked up the courage to ask a few of the people how they felt about me breaking this social norm and how people can change their view. The responses consisted of people saying how men should be more comfortable in taking a leading role in the development of children or even raising their own children. As men, we shouldn’t always leave the burden of looking after children up to women. As I stated earlier this social norm should be a topic everyone should feel comfortable to change so we as a culture can change these barriers for the future.
